Impeach the SCROTUM

By Toby Jugg

I recently paid my old friend Jams O'Dingus a visit. True to form I found him in his backyard tending to his beloved plants dressed only in his crocs and thong summer garb. A gruesome sight to be sure, but I am accustomed.

"Ah Toby," he exclaimed, "Just in time for some tonic." He served me a delicious concoction of elderflower, limeade, honey and quinine and we fell to banter.

Jams is not usually one to sully himself with the sordid nature of politics but today seemed to be an exception. "There has been much afoot in the past couple of weeks," I offered.

"To be sure, things can change rapidly these days. We have had an assassination attempt and an incumbent withdrawal."

"What do you think of the presumptive Democratic nominee?"

"Well it has certainly changed things and seems to have energized some somewhat dormant parts of the populace. Now we have only one candidate who is too old to serve, and a convicted felon to boot. I think she'll do fine but to be honest, I am more concerned about another branch of power. "

"If you're speaking about the Supreme Court, I see the President has put forward some proposed reforms."      

Graphic – Chat GPT

Jams snorted. "Aye 'tis about time. 'Course it won't go anywhere – the Republicans are way too interested in keeping their precious majority, but at least it recognizes the problem. No, I think stiffer measures are needed.

"Perhaps the SCOTUS acronym should be changed to SCROTUM, because it has us by the balls. This version of SCROTUM (Supreme Court Rotting Over Truly Undemocratic Mandates) has long abdicated its responsibility to be non-partisan and impartial, ignoring precedent and voting at every turn against democracy.

"I do not think it is too dramatic to see this Degradation of American Democracy leading to the end of The Great Experiment. It is time to impeach the SCROTUM!"

"And don't forget," Jams continued breathlessly, "This SCROTUM also just gave the President virtual immunity from prosecution for any act committed while in office. And the really imminent danger is to give this immunity to a President who would relish the dictatorial opportunities this would allow. So much for checks and balances.

"So I would advise voters before heading to the polIs this November, to think long and hard about which President you would most trust with this kingly immunity."

And with that Jams conjured a bottle of his favorite whiskey from a nearby bush and took a healthy slug.

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